How do you break a bad boy addiction?

I received an e-mail today that has me thinking. I have been asked for advice by a stranger...

Dear Nico,
I've read your blogs about your relationship with LA and I am in a similar situation. I've known this boy since childhood, we've flirted back and forth forever and I'm hooked. I meet great guys, guys that treat me like a queen yet I can't get this boy out of my head. We've never officially dated, but whenever he calls I run no matter what. I know he's no good for me. My friends hate him, I hate who i am when I'm with him, but it's like I'm addicted.
How do I break the bad boy habit?
Sincerely,
Addicted

I'm not sure where to start. First off, my situation with LA is toxic. He was a bad habit that was extremely hard to break. I hate to admit it, but he still gets in my head and under my skin at times. It's hard for him not to, he knows me far too well. There's much to that story that I'll eventually tell I'm sure, but not today. When you're in a bad situation you know it, even if you don't really want to admit it to yourself. Sometimes everything needs to crash for you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.

Secondly I've had my heart broken, shattered, and torn to shreds several times, because of this I have an odd view of relationships. I try to protect my heart (or what's left of it) as much as possible. I build walls. I take things for what they are making no promises. At times I push people away. Because of this I don't feel I am in any position to give advice to anyone on relationships. The best I can do is hopefully help by telling you what I've learned. Please keep in mind my views on the subject are far from healthy.
Sometimes the little bit of happiness is worth the pain that follows, but you need to gauge this early and go into the situation with a plan b for when it shatters.
A friend of mine likes to say, "The best way to get over a man is under anther man." For some I'm sure this works, but I know this only leads to trouble for me.
In my case I have a friend on call with a big bottle of liquor and a shoulder to cry on.
Just because he's a good guy doesn't mean he's a good guy for you, and just because he's a bad guy doesn't mean he's bad for you. You need to do what makes you happy.
Try not to expect more then what a person can give.

With that, good luck Addicted.

Want my spin on your situation? Want me to ramble on about my twisted views? Send an e-mail, ask a question. nicokitten@gmail.com

When Love Is Not Enough

I will be the first person to admit, I'm not the easiest person to get along with. I'm stubborn and impatient. I have been known to run through sprinklers at 3am on the way home from the pub (after having 1 or 2 too many at the pub of course). I drink, I smoke, and I like to go out to the pub. I have very twisted views when it comes to relationships (which I'm sure will eventually find their way into a post of their own).
That being said, I have been in a relationship for the past 9 years and have been married for the last 4 years. As in any relationship there have been good and bad times, he's a nice guy, but I left. I moved out a little more than a month ago, and just this past week I asked him for a divorce. I had been vocal in regards to me not being happy. There were a million factors in play (none of which will find there place here because as I said, he's a nice guy and I would like to remain friends with him and because it's really not all his fault) and I just can't do it anymore.

I think the one thing that really proved to me that us as a couple just couldn't work anymore was when he told me I was not acting like myself lately. he was right, I wasn't acting how he was use to me acting because I was happy. He wasn't use to or recognized the fact that I was happy. I don't entierly blam him for this, I had been miserable for so many reasons for so long that I was a little take by surprise by my new found happiness.

Am I wrong for leaving? I'm sure the answers to that would vary depending on the person asked.
Do I still love him? Absolutly, he will always have a special place in my heart.

So here I am trying to at least salvage a friendship from the remains of our relationship and at the same time trying to tell him that I don't want to be with him anymore.

Isn't it better to end it when you realize it's just not working then to let it drag out until you end up despising each other?