I have always had a fairly good handle on my emotions (well most of them). I’m not the girl that cries at the drop of a hat. I’m not the girl that breaks down in front of anyone. Maybe this is due to me growing up the “baby sister” to two older brothers who preached “crying is for girls”. Yes, I have broken down. I do have a heart. (This is not formed of stone or ice) My heart has been broken. (More times than I’m willing to admit) One memorable time I shut myself off from everything and everyone for days on end to nurse my emotional wounds. Oh but my anger is a whole different world. I have no patience for ignorance and do annoy very quickly causing me to become harsh at times. (This my friend is why I have never strived to be a teacher)
Normally I am shy around people that I am not completely familiar or comfortable with at least until I get to know them a bit, or have a few drinks (yes, I learned early on that the fastest way to overcome my shyness was to have a drink or two to relax a bit) and even then I still may stumble over my words or randomly giggle (The latter is something that has plagued me since childhood) more because I actually value my company’s opinion of me than anything else. (My nerves still get the better of me at times) Ironically when I don’t care I have nerves of steel. (I'm sure that there are a few people whom will be enlightened from this last little tidbit)
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Lately I have felt emotionally drained; I am detached from my surroundings intermittently. Maybe it is from the cyclone my life has been these last few months. (and for the next few months) Maybe it's from finally feeling like myself again after a very long time. I’m not sure what exactly has caused me to feel this way and that more than anything is bothering me.
La morte mi troverà vivo.
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